Dear Santa

I've been really naughty

Dear Santa, I’ve been a very naughty girl you fat judgmental bastard and I really deserve a spanking.

Kim

She sits back, looks at the lines of type on the screen and then hits send. No way is that going to end up on Santa’s desk. It might give someone who has to answer emails on a Christmas website a laugh but it has only momentarily eased her frustration.

Dear Kim,

Bend over, panties down. On my way.

Santa

“You’re joking,” she mutters.

No I’m not, appears on her screen.

Kim stands up, turns her behind to the laptop, lifts her skirt, yanks down her knickers and wriggles her arse. “That’s all you’re getting.” She slams the laptop closed.

Something weird is happening in the corner of her room. The air seems fuzzy and looks like it is full of glittery sparkles, as if someone has shaken a snow globe. A man appears, complete with a white beard and wearing a red suit.

“How did you get in here? Kim pulls up her knickers.

“I used to come down chimneys, but since you’ve got central heating I have to use more modern magic.”

“The tube, an Uber?”

The Father Christmas figure frowns. “You really are a spiky one, aren’t you?”

“OK, let’s assume I believe you are Santa and you’re here to spank my ass until I come.”

The man raises his eyebrows.

“Since it’s difficult to do yourself, and all the men around here seem fucking hopeless at it. I might just take you up on your offer.”

Santa frowns again. “It’s a rule that naughty girls don’t get what they want.”

“So, why are you here then?”

“You’ve got a cute ass.”

“Thank you. Are you sure you don’t want to paddle it?”

“Of course I want to, but I’ve got standards you know. After all, I’m here on my day off.”

“You get three hundred and sixty-four days off.”

Father Christmas grunts. “Who do you think gets all those presents ready? I don’t just nip down to Toys4U with my credit card you know.”

“Elves, Santa’s little helpers, Mrs Claus, I don’t know. I bet you just sit around all year and then get off your ass for the big day.”

“It’s a night shift.” He sits down in an armchair.

“Oh woweee, some of us do them regularly.”

“Have a bit of respect. You really do deserve a spanking.”

“Ooo, yes please. Knickers down and bending over ready.”

“What have you done that’s been good this year? There must be something.”

There is a very long pause.

“I’ve fucked Robbie and he’s not the most attractive bloke around here. Well, anywhere really.”

“Shagging someone after fifteen Babychams and four Malibu cocktails doesn’t count as an altruistic action.”

“Twice.”

“The second time you thought he was going to pay for dinner and drinks.”

“But he didn’t.”

“Only because you shelled out before he did. Maybe I should put Robbie on the cunning list.”

“Fuck off.”

“OK.” Santa heaves himself out of the chair.

“No, wait. I gave money to charity.”

“Really.” Santa pulls a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket and smooths it out. “Oh yes. You put fourteen pence and couple of cents left over from your binge in Ibiza in a collection tin.” He rubs his white beard. “OK, that’ll do.” There’s more sparkles and a large flat paddle appears in his hand.

Kim barely has time to bend over before there is a loud smack.

“Ow, no warm up then.”

Smack

“Oh, I really have been naughty.”

There are three more loud cracks.

“Fuck me,” Kim wriggles, her fingers already working on her pussy.

“You really do want everything,” Santa says, unbuttoning his trousers.

Normal service will be resumed after a little more Christmas silliness. I blame Zatanna Dark for inspiring me to write some of these stories. Pop over to her Substack for a bit more kinky Yuletide fun.

Here’s two more of mine