Writing About BDSM
Spanking, punishment, discipline - which words do you use?
There are many aspects to BDSM but this article questions the vocabulary writers use to describe spankings, whippings and canings.
Writers have a huge number of words available to describe spankings, whippings and canings within a BDSM themed story but the vocabulary of BDSM can be confusing.
The words spanking, whipping and caning are associated with punishment, a word that suggests a penalty imposed for wrongdoing. What images do they conjure up in the reader’s imagination? To have any idea of this you need to know who your target reader is.
Think about spanking - what was the first thing you thought of? If you are over 40 and live in Europe it might have been a schoolboy in the headmaster’s office. If you live in some far Eastern countries it may still be that image. Under 40 you may have thought about it in a sexual context.
Spanking has evolved to include ‘for sexual pleasure’. Society has changed its use of the word as attitudes to the use of spanking as a punishment have changed. Forty years ago, ‘I administered a good spanking,’ might cause a nod of approval whereas now it might cause a giggle and the imagined recipient would be a completely different age.
A lot of my books and short stories feature dominant women and men who are quite capable of wielding a paddle, whip or cane but their intention is not to punish. Within my stories the actions are consensual and the recipient gains pleasure from the acts. See Enjoying A Good Spanking
Apart from the role play aspects, BDSM is not about punishment or coercive control it is about the enjoyment of the pain inflicted. In order to be enjoyable that pain must be inflicted at precisely the right level. It could be anything from the tweak of a nipple to a full forced stroke with a cane. The best way to punish a submissive in the true sense of the word would be to deny them a spanking.
This article was first published on Medium If you are a Medium subscriber you can read the full version there.