After the red hot promise in the prologue I was eager for more- even tidbits! perhaps getting into Kate’s headspace. How did she react to the unfamiliarity of what she ‘fantasised’? What thoughts were pulling at her as she tried to act as normal?
The trip into the woods seemed out of character- especially in the heat &clawing brambles- is she drawn? Does that confuse or excite or is ‘boss lady’ in denial?
Maybe she's not the type to normally go for a stroll in the woods so there are elements of her being drawn there. Once she see the girl, she is the type to go charging in to find out what is happening.
This will be a very enjoyable ride, Simone! Now that I've read the first episode, I have a better sense of who Kate is, and that'll be paramount, since this saga (from what I can tell so far) is focused on her.
I think I came pretty close to estimating her personality in my commentary on the Prologue. The morning after the erotic dreams, Kate pretends to be all business, yet she takes pride in her beauty, which she's worked hard to maintain through constant exercise and taking care of herself. She's not a prude by any means, and enjoys sex a great deal, but she seems to view sexuality as either a means to an end (a weapon she uses in business negotiations to "sweeten the deal," so to speak), or for sport--as an invigorating recreational activity. No mention of love at all, though there's a hint of an abandonment, when she looks at her Porsche in the driveway, how it faces away from her--"turned its back" on her, and she thinks of how the car "wouldn't be the first one" in her life to have done that. A major clue right there.
I was intrigued by how deeply the dreams disturbed her--they really struck a nerve, despite her dismissals and protests. How she couldn't believe that she dreamt of being in bondage--unspoken was how much she loved it, and how much she loved the orgiastic pleasuring dream with the blue-veined men. She tried to distract herself by checking her laptop to see what was going on at work, but couldn't focus. But then she went outside.
Simone, you did a wonderful job here with imagery--a perfect word picture of a sylvan "cathedral," as you wrote. In contrast to the cottage, where things are worn (like the patina of the table, which has been around for years), everything is bursting with life outside in the wood--the holly, the tall trees, the nettles, brambles, flowers--everything. Then there's the apparition Kate sees, among the ruins. A ruined stone structure inside a lush, wooded area, and the appearance of a beautiful young woman. There's tons of obvious symbolism here--a clear demarcation between the stagnant "world" where Kate is a "Mistress of the Universe" and the mysterious, fecund realm of the natural and refreshing--right outside her door (literally, in this case--but also figuratively as well, perhaps).
But in the subtitle to this piece, you pose a compelling question. Is this another of Kate's dreams? To be sure, we're in a fictional forum here, and an erotically fictional forum at that--the Prologue left no doubt about it. Yet this first full episode, with its blatant, indeed transparent, symbolism, poses the question of the possible illusion of Kate's trip. Is the trip real? Is she dreaming this entire series of events, her mind, worn down by stress, repairing itself by an emergency vision quest of sorts, showing Kate things she MUST see and confront, whether she wants to or not. Maybe Kate's cracked under the pressure and is in the hospital, or at home on leave from her job--she could also literally be "taking a trip" with psychedelics, used therapeutically (a highly controversial area of psychiatric research, based mostly at Johns Hopkins--proponents have claimed to have had remarkable results in improving depression and other mental health issues with psychedelic drugs, and the reports are similar to Kate's experience here in some cases).
As always, I've gone off into some weeds far, far afield here, but whenever I see connections to or among themes and symbols I point them out. Your writing is excellent as always, and the nature imagery is a perfect "10." I love where you're going here, and the fact that you're taking up a misty area of the unconscious, and the shades of dream and reality. Excellent, top-drawer work, Simone!
Thank you John - interesting comments. As I said in a reply to G. Charles comment on the Prologue that was originally a short story which then expanded to become a book. My (then) publisher accepted it but asked if I could add a bit more romance. Halfway through the re-write I decided that really was not working. I ended up self publishing it with a very obscure title and achieving sales of **** all.
My original intention in re-releasing it as At the Edge of Dreams was to do a quick re-write and publish it as a serial. Oh, how we deceive ourselves. The original manuscript has been torn up, the best bits are being kept/re-worked and the whole think reassembled into a much darker story, which brings me to your comments. You have picked up on a lot of the background exposition in your commentary on the Prologue and Episode 1 that I had dumped from the original (two chapters), which raises the question, did I need to write it in the first place? (I probably needed to write it but not publish it).
I am going to stop there as I am going to go into more detail in an article and will reference your comments. Thanks again for some incisive feedback
Fascinating. I surmise that the article will be among your very insightful musings on the writing craft and creative process, which I really enjoy. Sounds like one of those projects where you had a solid picture of where you particularly wanted to go with it, and the attempt to accommodate the publisher's request knocked it off the rails. Curious to learn more, and to read the dark story rework of this one. The synthesis of eroticism and darkness--whether psychological or some form of the uncanny/horrific-metaphysical--packs one hell of a punch, since these vehicles enthrall the reader on multiple levels.
I’m still enthralled Simone.
After the red hot promise in the prologue I was eager for more- even tidbits! perhaps getting into Kate’s headspace. How did she react to the unfamiliarity of what she ‘fantasised’? What thoughts were pulling at her as she tried to act as normal?
The trip into the woods seemed out of character- especially in the heat &clawing brambles- is she drawn? Does that confuse or excite or is ‘boss lady’ in denial?
Delicious intrigue- rolling onto ch. 2
Maybe she's not the type to normally go for a stroll in the woods so there are elements of her being drawn there. Once she see the girl, she is the type to go charging in to find out what is happening.
This will be a very enjoyable ride, Simone! Now that I've read the first episode, I have a better sense of who Kate is, and that'll be paramount, since this saga (from what I can tell so far) is focused on her.
I think I came pretty close to estimating her personality in my commentary on the Prologue. The morning after the erotic dreams, Kate pretends to be all business, yet she takes pride in her beauty, which she's worked hard to maintain through constant exercise and taking care of herself. She's not a prude by any means, and enjoys sex a great deal, but she seems to view sexuality as either a means to an end (a weapon she uses in business negotiations to "sweeten the deal," so to speak), or for sport--as an invigorating recreational activity. No mention of love at all, though there's a hint of an abandonment, when she looks at her Porsche in the driveway, how it faces away from her--"turned its back" on her, and she thinks of how the car "wouldn't be the first one" in her life to have done that. A major clue right there.
I was intrigued by how deeply the dreams disturbed her--they really struck a nerve, despite her dismissals and protests. How she couldn't believe that she dreamt of being in bondage--unspoken was how much she loved it, and how much she loved the orgiastic pleasuring dream with the blue-veined men. She tried to distract herself by checking her laptop to see what was going on at work, but couldn't focus. But then she went outside.
Simone, you did a wonderful job here with imagery--a perfect word picture of a sylvan "cathedral," as you wrote. In contrast to the cottage, where things are worn (like the patina of the table, which has been around for years), everything is bursting with life outside in the wood--the holly, the tall trees, the nettles, brambles, flowers--everything. Then there's the apparition Kate sees, among the ruins. A ruined stone structure inside a lush, wooded area, and the appearance of a beautiful young woman. There's tons of obvious symbolism here--a clear demarcation between the stagnant "world" where Kate is a "Mistress of the Universe" and the mysterious, fecund realm of the natural and refreshing--right outside her door (literally, in this case--but also figuratively as well, perhaps).
But in the subtitle to this piece, you pose a compelling question. Is this another of Kate's dreams? To be sure, we're in a fictional forum here, and an erotically fictional forum at that--the Prologue left no doubt about it. Yet this first full episode, with its blatant, indeed transparent, symbolism, poses the question of the possible illusion of Kate's trip. Is the trip real? Is she dreaming this entire series of events, her mind, worn down by stress, repairing itself by an emergency vision quest of sorts, showing Kate things she MUST see and confront, whether she wants to or not. Maybe Kate's cracked under the pressure and is in the hospital, or at home on leave from her job--she could also literally be "taking a trip" with psychedelics, used therapeutically (a highly controversial area of psychiatric research, based mostly at Johns Hopkins--proponents have claimed to have had remarkable results in improving depression and other mental health issues with psychedelic drugs, and the reports are similar to Kate's experience here in some cases).
As always, I've gone off into some weeds far, far afield here, but whenever I see connections to or among themes and symbols I point them out. Your writing is excellent as always, and the nature imagery is a perfect "10." I love where you're going here, and the fact that you're taking up a misty area of the unconscious, and the shades of dream and reality. Excellent, top-drawer work, Simone!
Thank you John - interesting comments. As I said in a reply to G. Charles comment on the Prologue that was originally a short story which then expanded to become a book. My (then) publisher accepted it but asked if I could add a bit more romance. Halfway through the re-write I decided that really was not working. I ended up self publishing it with a very obscure title and achieving sales of **** all.
My original intention in re-releasing it as At the Edge of Dreams was to do a quick re-write and publish it as a serial. Oh, how we deceive ourselves. The original manuscript has been torn up, the best bits are being kept/re-worked and the whole think reassembled into a much darker story, which brings me to your comments. You have picked up on a lot of the background exposition in your commentary on the Prologue and Episode 1 that I had dumped from the original (two chapters), which raises the question, did I need to write it in the first place? (I probably needed to write it but not publish it).
I am going to stop there as I am going to go into more detail in an article and will reference your comments. Thanks again for some incisive feedback
Fascinating. I surmise that the article will be among your very insightful musings on the writing craft and creative process, which I really enjoy. Sounds like one of those projects where you had a solid picture of where you particularly wanted to go with it, and the attempt to accommodate the publisher's request knocked it off the rails. Curious to learn more, and to read the dark story rework of this one. The synthesis of eroticism and darkness--whether psychological or some form of the uncanny/horrific-metaphysical--packs one hell of a punch, since these vehicles enthrall the reader on multiple levels.